Dear Counselor Mom,
I’m 20 weeks pregnant, and my fiance told me he wants a paternity test. We have been together for 3 years and have never had an issue. I don’t know why he is asking me this. I do know his family doesn’t like me because I am of a different race. His mother told me I should get an abortion when she found out I was pregnant. I wonder if his family is influencing his opinions. I have never cheated on him. The stress is bothering me so much I am considering moving in with my parents. If he forces me to get the DNA test, I don’t think I can be with him ever again.
Anna
Anna,
I’m sorry you are going through this. There are a few issues going on here. First, you need to find out where his belief is coming from. If his family is influencing him you need to set an ultimatum. I’m not suggesting that he cut ties with his family; however, he needs to stand up to his family, stand firm and tell them he has made the decision to be with you. If the influence did not come from his family, find out the source of the problem. (The racial issue with his family still needs to be addressed). Why is he having trust issues? Did he hear something from a friend? If you find that he has absolutely no reason to have trust issues with you, then it is possible that he is reflecting something that is going on with him upon you.
Readers, what do you think she should do?
If you have been together that long the fact that his family “can influence” him should not have excaped you………
have a dna test at his expense…get the results and hand them to him along with child support papers,
turn and walk away and ENJOY your BEAUTIFUL BLESSING!!! do not let him or his “family” stress you into missing the experiences of pregnancy…they are to MIRACULOUS to be “forgotten in the moment” because of stress……..he will either step up and put his family in thier PROPER PLACE or he will fold to pressure
a couple of my favorite “quotes”
Generally you do not have to talk yourself into doing what is right.
Anyone can be a father, it takes someone SPECIAL to be a DAD!
and
Friends are the Family we CHOOSE!
Thanks Louise for participating! I agree with your response.