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Tonight I am responding to Joyce’s questions for me. Joyce is the talk show host of Mommy Talk Show. If you missed it, you can read her questions and previous posts at her website, MommyTalkShow. Everyone should check out her e-book for moms who want to start a business!

How do you think we should wrap up our cross-blog conversation? Meet for coffee? Schedule a play date with our children? Or travel to an exotic location for a moms only vacation?

Would you be willing to appear in a video blog with me?

Oh my, I would love to. I am afraid of the camera though. I’ll definitely think about it!!

I guess we can say this wraps up our cross conversation for now…but I would like to pick it up again in the future. Thanks for participating in this with me, I’ve learned a lot!

Sand tray miniatures for play therapy are important because the miniatures represent a vocabulary for expression. As play therapists are well aware of, play is the way children express themselves.  It is important to provide miniatures that represent ordinary life including items that represent mythological and fiction. For example, ordinary representations would be people, foods, buildings, flags, planets, shapes, planets, things representing different feelings and culture. Fiction and mythological would be fairies, elves, cartoons, etc.

One thing I remember from grad school is not to label the miniatures. You, as the play therapist or if you are a parent conducting filial therapy, should not label the miniatures but allow the child to describe the item. Many times a child will pick a miniature that reminds him of something that is not actually what the miniature is suppose to be. Be sure to provide items that provide positive and negative imagery and positive and negative emotions, such as sorrow, pain, joy, happiness, peace, etc.

Here is a general list of items that should help you start your play therapy/sand tray collection:

• People of different race, hair colors, ethnicities, sizes, etc.
• Families, including babies, twins, etc. See the miniatures that are pictured above.
• Provide clothes and some dolls with no clothes. Children like to dress the dolls or undress dolls.
• Mythological figures.
• Monsters.
• People dressed in their work clothing including work items such as tools, miniature office desk, etc. Think doll house miniature furniture. See dollhouse furniture here.
• Animals, large and small.
• Plants, flowers, bushes, leaves, rocks, and other environmental items.
• Home furnishings.
• Vehicles.

If you are looking for a book with sand tray techniques, I recommend the following book. Sandtray Therapy: A Practical Manual, Second Edition

Bookmark this page because I will be making detailed lists soon. You can also check out my other blog posts on play therapy.

Credit goes to Sand Tray World Play: A Comprehensive Guide to the Use of the Sand Tray in Psychotherapeutic and Transformational Settings

Many play therapists that get their own play room are excited about filling it up with all the basic supplies needed to conduct therapy sessions. One item that is important is purchasing a sand tray, which also seems to be the most difficult thing to buy. There are several options. First, do not feel like you can’t do sand tray therapy if you don’t own a professional sand tray. You can most certainly use a rubbermaid bin or even a child’s sand box to conduct a play session. I might be in the minority, but I don’t see anything wrong with using a child’s sand box like this one.

According to Sand Tray World Play: A Comprehensive Guide to the Use of the Sand Tray in Psychotherapeutic and Transformation Settings by Gisela Schubach, there are several sizes and shapes of sand trays that have been used in sand tray therapy.

• Dr. Margaret Lowenfeld used sand trays that were aluminum metat and measured 20 inches by 30 inches and were 3 inches deep.
• Dora Kalff’s trays were made of a wooden frame and measured 19.5 inches by 28.5 inches and are also 3 inches deep. Gisela Schubach recommends not using wet sand in a wooden frame tray.
• Goesta Harding provides a metal tray that measured 20.5 inches by 32 inches and are 2.2 inches deep.
• Gisela Schubach has found blue plastic trays that are 21.5 inches by 19.5 inches and 4 inches deep. She uses multiple trays.

Gisela advises against using a cat litter box as a sand tray because of the psychological imagery that could be raised.

If you don’t purchase a plastic box, you could get a custom tray made or even purchase a photographic tray. Make sure the tray has a flat surface on the bottom of the tray.

On Amazon, I found the Guidecraft Kid’s Sand Tray that doesn’t exactly match the sizes above, but it is an option.

The sand tray in the picture shown above can be be found here: Dynalon 107334 22 x 26 x 4 Inch Heavy Duty Polypropylene Rectangular Laboratory Tray / Storage Bin. The reason I like this tray is because it is 4 inches.

• 22 x 26 x 4 inch
• Heavy tray Fabricated with 1/4 inch thick
• Polypropylene
• All welded construction
• Can be customized with spigot and cover which are fabricated to order

If you are interested in using a sand tray for play therapy, there is a basic list of supplies you will need. You can read more about play therapy here.

• First you will need a sand tray obviously. Many of them are painted blue on the inside. You can see a selection of sand trays here. You do not have to purchase a large sand tray, although it is better so a child has more room to express him or herself with the play therapy miniatures. If you can’t find or afford a large traditional sand therapy tray, you can always use a large rubbermaid bin.
• Fill the tray with either dry or wet sand about half way inside the sand tray.
• The sand tray is usually on top of a worktable, unless you purchase a sand tray that comes with a table.
• Play therapy miniatures, which usually include people, animals, and items that resemble something (such as a cross). Some play therapists buy a dollhouse family like these.
• Bowls and are also a good idea to have to help the child mold the sand.

If are interested in learning more techniques, check out the Sandtray Therapy: A Practical Manual, Second Edition.

Today I am writing a response to Joyce from Mommy Talk Show. For the past few weeks we have been corresponding with each other through blog posts. You can see her latest post asking me questions here. You can also watch a video of her highlights as a news anchor. I thoroughly enjoyed watching that!

Here are Joyce’s questions to me this time around:

What suggestions would you give to a mom about being a virtual assistant as a work at home career?

Many virtual assistants have several jobs with several people as a contractor. There are some full time virtual assistant positions. I would suggest anyone interested in becoming a virtual assistant to network with other bloggers. Word of mouth is a great way to get a position, but of course the most difficult way. Some job postings I’ve seen online appear a bit sketchy. I would make sure the job is legitimate and not a sales job before applying. I would email your favorite bloggers and find out if they can direct you to someone who is hiring.

How do you deal with any jealousy your older son may have for your daughter?

Honestly, my daughter seems to be way more jealous of my son ironically. She was born to be the center of attention. Any jealousy my son has experienced is generally solved by giving him extra special attention.

Is blogging on Counselor Mom and your other sites as simple as people think?

It is very time consuming to blog. I own several websites, but have narrowed it down to only one daily (which is not Counselor Mom). One website that is local to you is CouponingInAtlanta.com. I plan to beef that site up and post daily on that as well. It also takes time to make money, it is not an overnight thing.

Here are my questions to Joyce at Mommy Talk Show:

• Tell me about the workshop you have hosted. I see that you are holding another workshop this weekend, which is great. What did you learn from your experience?
• What inspired you to write your ebook for moms?
• How do you find businesses to promote on Mommy Talk Show? For example, you have monthly sponsors. What process do you go through to find these businesses to advertise on Mommy Talk Show?

I think I am almost officially done breastfeeding. My daughter turned 2 in December, and I’ve been skipping days. The longest I’ve gone is 2 full days without nursing her. I think we are both done. I am glad that I was able to nurse her for this long. I haven’t decided when my official last day will be nursing her because it seems to happen spontaneously now. Although it was a rocky road at the beginning! I remember getting like 2-3 hours of sleep because all she wanted to do is stay attached to me during the night. Although I enjoyed breastfeeding, I honestly don’t miss those days with her attached to me 24 hours a day. Not that I didn’t treasure those moments, I just don’t remember much because I was so sleep deprived!

My son did not breastfeed very long because of low milk supply. I know there is some debate about whether nursing moms really have low milk supply. Well according to the lactation specialists, he was not drinking enough milk so I had to supplement with formula. He was also born early and had a weak suck. I remember pumping barely a 1/2 ounce. My schedule was rigorous…around the clock trying to stimulate milk production. It didn’t work unfortunately.  I stopped nursing him at around 6 weeks. So 2 years with my daughter is an accomplishment!

I think whatever someone decides to do when it comes to breastfeeding or formula feeding is their choice. I am in the weird camp that actually liked preparing a bottle. I also enjoyed nursing my daughter. I just love doing those mom things like picking out baby supplies, Boppy pillows and other feeding supplies. Didn’t you know Babies R Us is one of my favorite stores?  I think a person has to make the choice that suits the mom and baby. When a mom is so sleep deprived, it can be hard to function. The most important thing is to feed your baby!

This is a touchy subject, and I don’t plan to tell you how to discipline your child. There are so many parenting books out there that will teach what way is the best way, etc. As a mom to two children, I still don’t know the *best* way to discipline. In my opinion, I don’t think there is a best way to discipline, nor, is there a one size fits all solution. You must discipline based on what works for YOUR child.

I have a 2 year old and 4 year old. Each of them are both very high strong and somewhat stubborn. Because of their age differences, I can’t discipline them the same. I expect “more” of my son because he should and does understand more of what I ask of him. I have used time outs, discussions, discipline charts, taking toys away from him, and more.

I haven’t found a “perfect” solution yet. He is going through a stage where he talks back to me and is a bit sassy. The most important advice I can give to someone disciplining a toddler is consistency. If your child hits his sibling, you must continuously discipline each time he hits his sibling.

When it comes to disciplining my daughter, she is is too little to understand much; however, don’t underestimate the little ones. They know what they are doing to a degree! Oh yes, a 2 year old can most definitely be manipulative!

I found some information on Babycenter about disciplining toddlers that is useful for parents wanting more information.

Today I’m going to respond to Joyce’s questions that she has for me! If you missed our earlier conversation, you can see my initial post introducing Joyce from Mommy Talk Show here. You can find her response to my questions and the questions she has for me here. I wish I was video savvy like Joyce is, but for today, I’m going to respond via blog post. Here are the questions she has for me and my answers:

Joyce: How did you decide to have Baby #2? How do you and your husband still find time together?

I’m not sure what we were thinking! LOL, just kidding. Baby number 2 was a surprise in a way. I mean, I know how these things happen, but we were surprised. I always wanted my children somewhat close in age so they could grow up together with similar age appropriate interests. Another reason I wanted them close in age is because of childcare. If I would have waited several years to have another child (by choice that is), then I would have been presented with the dilemma to either quit a job, cut back hours, or put my child in daycare (assuming I had a job at that point). My children are 2 years and 7 months apart.

My husband and I do not have as much quality time together (Although we probably could work on that a little more by making sure the kids are bed on time, etc). We definitely have to MAKE time for ourselves. Our 4 year old constantly talks and interrupts my husband and I when we are talking during the day/car/dinner/night/ALL the time, which is an issue we are working on. My husband and I took my son and daughter to a play area last week, and we were shocked that we could actually TALK to each other because my 4 year old was not getting in the middle of our conversations. I get that he is 4 and is going to do that, but seriously, he doesn’t stop! LOL.

The good thing is my husband does have a good work schedule; however, when the children are awake it is difficult to spend quality time together because of all the things that have to be taken care of, whether it be cleaning up, cooking, etc. We do try to go on date nights every couple of weeks. However, we are looking forward to going away for a night alone sans children one of these days.

Joyce: Do moms ask you questions about work life balance or your experience being a school counselor?

I find more friends online that discuss these things with me than in real life, LOL. I have had people ask me questions on my blog through the “Ask Counselor Mom” tab at the top of the page. I have had people ask me developmental questions and some people just express their thoughts about staying at home. I do think my experience as a school counselor and the tools I learned in grad school has helped me with parenting in a way. I try to share some of my parenting knowledge on my blogs, although I need to step up my writing a bit and focus!

Joyce: If you could go back to working as a school counselor today with your ideal hours and salary, would you?

Probably. In my dream world, I would go back part time so I can experience my job and being a part time stay at home mom. I would like to work outside of the home part time to give me the opportunity to get out of the house and communicate with other adults. However, in this economy, it seems difficult time get a job period.

Well, Joyce, here are my questions to you!

• What were the pros and the cons to being a television news anchor?
• What was the most significant story that you remember reporting on that really touched your heart?
• Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? Personally, career wise, and family wise?

*Update Below*

Today I want to introduce you again to a wonderful woman and mom. My friend, Joyce, has a website over at Mommy Talk Show where she brings Atlanta businesses and moms together. She is an Emmy award winning TV anchor. After the birth of her son, she decided to stay at home with her sweet little boy, A.J. Using her television, parenting, and business skills, she decided to start her website, Mommy Talk Show, so she can bring her passions together.

Joyce and I have decided to have a cross conversational blog talk so our readers can get to know each other. Here are some questions I thought others moms would want to know.

Joyce, how do you manage your stay at home work schedule and parenting? How do you juggle being a mom, wife, and business owner?

Many moms, like myself, have reported feeling guilty for staying at home. Have you had to handle criticism or guilt for staying at home and not returning to your former position? If not, have you had any conflicted feelings about staying at home and building your business?

Where do you want to take Mommy Talk Show? Can you elaborate on what you have in store for Mommy Talk Show and your goals?

I can’t wait to hear the answers! I will post when Joyce has answered the questions.

*Update* Joyce has answered my questions. You can view her response on her website Mommy Talk Show.