In the past I’ve discussed stay at home moms who feel depressed. I’m not talking about post partum depression, I’m referring to the depression a mom feels when she feels like she is stuck in a rut. I’ve been experiencing a little bit of that this week. I can honestly say it is because again, I feel uneasy about the future. After the last article I criticized that said stated stay at home moms are basically ruining their job chances if they stay at home, it made be ponder my own future.
I think the problem with staying at home for me personally are these things:
- I don’t get out of the house enough, although I preach it to others!
- I graduated and immediately stayed home instead of working and then staying at home.
My dream back in my early to mid 20′s was this:
- Finish college.
- Get a job.
- Work a few years to have experience and save money, pay off debts.
- Have my kids.
- Stay at home.
- Go back to work, maybe part time when they entered elementary.
Instead, my real life is this:
- Finished college.
- Started a master’s degree.
- Had my 1st kid.
- Finished a master’s degree.
- Had my 2nd kid.
- Unemployment hit the roof in our country.
- I became a forced stay at home mom due to daycare expenses and the lack of jobs in my field.
- Attempting to start a business online and hope and pray that it works.
Because things didn’t go the way I initially planned, I worry about the future. I also think a huge part of my worry is that I have student loans built up with no school counseling job to show for it and the lack of networking I’ve been able to maintain. That is my TRUE worry. Now, as discussed in that stay at home mom article, I know I have other options. The problem is, I worry NOW although I try not to. When I read those articles about people who have had negative experiences, it does worry me a little bit about my future. However, I am secure in my decision to not find a job below X amount of dollars. There is no point in putting both of my kids in daycare if it will eat up my salary. The reason to my ramblings is that I think many sahms have these similar worries, regardless if you have debt or a degree.
Do you ever worry about your future? Do you worry enough that it makes you depressed thinking about it?
I’m not worried about my immediate future, but I do worry about where the income will come from if my husband should pass away or if we will have enough in our old age. I try not to worry too much though – we have been through tougher times and God always provided our needs and I know He is doing the same for you!
I know what you mean. We do have life insurance so that would help with immediate financial problems. I think the networking thing is what bothers me lol.
i feel for you. i am almost in the same shoes as you were. it seems like you were very trusting of the system/economy or perhaps was not aware of the impending recession. Well here it is, so what can we do? In my case, i only did 4 yrs of school. Then i worked my but off paying everything while i was employed and even saved 2 yrs worth of my salary. Of course, i was not a popular crew because anytime there was a birthday or get together, i was the person to pitch in the least. It was a curse that i grew up in a broken home, but that very untrusting attittude as well as my money savvyness kind of bumped me off the trouble zone. now, even with 2 kids, i am debt free and my hosue is nearly paid. so how can you deal with yours now? i’d say talk it over to your loan agen and get forbearance (they can withold the loan payments until you find a job–though interest will still accrue with unsubsidized loans. perhaps do odd jobs here and there (babysitting, etc) while hubby is home to watch kids. live frugally and give up high maintenance expense that are not necessary, and most of all, pray, pray pray..good luck
I have loss all sence of self worth. I was a correctional officer and firefighter now I am a loser whos only joy I have during the day is using the new fabric softener. My husband has a great career and I am extremely jealous. I used to be somebody but now Im a nobody. I always said i wanted to be someone my kids were proud of but what do they have to be proud of now ….I have let my self go, I am in this vicious cycle of hurt and self loathing. My kids love me home but i am having a very difficult time I have no friends here in Atl and no one to talk to. I want to feel important again..I want to feel needed again. I know I made all the decisions in my life to get me where i am now but I have so much ambition and eagerness but no where to go….I know I guess I can check the laundry, it should be about done
Amanda, you are not a loser. Your child does not think so. Being a mom is the most important role in our children’s eyes. Just like us adults, our children will remember their childhood forever. Don’t ever think you are a loser for staying at home. The key is to find something besides our children to keep you motivated. For me, it is blogging and building websites. Find something that will give you some breathing room from your kids. Interact with others online and in real life. I would love to read a blog about your previous experience as a firefighter/correctional officer. I hate to sound cliche, but this time really does go by quick. If you are able to, maybe you can get a part time job if you can’t work full time?
I want to work but cant find any I have applied over and over again not even an interview. I just feel……..like my life is over and my existence is no more. I am helping my husband with a start up internet company and he wants me to get involved but i don’t know anything about IT stuff. Idk….my whole life has changed since i moved to Atlanta. I expected so much more in employment but like my husband says everyone is looking for a job. I dont have to work but with no one willing to hire me i just feel like hiding i guess………..
Amanda, I live in Atlanta too. The job economy is awful around here. I have been looking for a school counseling job for over 2.5 years, never had an interview either. That would be neat to work with your husband if you decide to learn about the IT. I’m sure you could do it! Sounds like there might be more stuff than just the job bothering you (I’m just guessing here), maybe the actual move? Do you have family/friends here? I know picking up and moving to a totally new place is stressful enough! I wish you luck. I know what you are going through. I’m sure something will turn up.