Dear Counselor Mom,
My husband and I are not doing well. We are at each other’s throats all day long. We fight in front of the kids, and I can’t take it anymore. We just live under the same roof. Should I stay in my marriage for the kids?
I’m sorry you are going through this with your husband. I know it is a difficult time for all of you. First, I’m going to recommend you both try counseling. If there is no abuse going on, it would be great if you two could work things out. However, to get right to the answer to your question, do not stay in a marriage for the sake of the kids. I’m not aware of any research that states that staying in an unhealthy marriage for the sake of the kids is the best thing to do.
The longer you stay in an unhappy marriage, the more unhappy the household is going to be. The kids will pick up on mom and dad’s behavior. You know that old saying, “when mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy”? There really is some truth to that. When a couple stays in an unhappy marriage, it just rubs off on the kids. They are very aware of the environment and their surroundings. They will become affected by the situation and then their behavior will begin to change. A child should be in a healthy household.